Support Message
YANA Family is dedicated to supporting anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. While part of my vision is to support mothers though the devastating pain after the loss of a child; I recognize that fathers, siblings, aunts and uncles and many others struggle as well. It is not my intent to exclude anyone suffering the loss of a loved one. I want to personally thank my brother "Tim" for reminding me that "uncles" hurt too.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
There is not a right or wrong way to grieve. We all should practice thinking before speaking when lending support to others. Can you imagine being told, "Get over it" or "Move on" after a bad relationship? Now imagine those same words after losing a child or family member. How could someone say that right? You would be shocked at some of the things I've heard from other mothers. One of my dearest friends is an Angel Mom as well. Her son died seven months prior to my son Joseph. My friend had been taking care of her son for many years suffering with sickle cell anemia. After she lost her son to this disease she recalled being told by someone, " Well...he was sick though". Unfortunately, that didn't reduce the pain for my friend. Of course, this person's attempt to comfort added a great deal of emotional stress to her healing process. It's been fourteen years and my friend still mentions that phrase. Knowing what to say is sometimes very difficult for anyone including someone that has gone through it. Just remember that saying the "perfect thing" to someone grieving is next to impossible. Try to stay away from phrases like, "He/She is in a much better place now" or "At least you had __ years with him/her". While those phrases are indeed true, at the time of need (initial time of death) most people are still in the first stage of grief and may not receive your comment in a comforting way. (see our 7 Stages of Grief page) A great way to lend support is through prayer and listening. Commit to being there long after the ceremonial process has ended.
Author: Deb Hall
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
There is not a right or wrong way to grieve. We all should practice thinking before speaking when lending support to others. Can you imagine being told, "Get over it" or "Move on" after a bad relationship? Now imagine those same words after losing a child or family member. How could someone say that right? You would be shocked at some of the things I've heard from other mothers. One of my dearest friends is an Angel Mom as well. Her son died seven months prior to my son Joseph. My friend had been taking care of her son for many years suffering with sickle cell anemia. After she lost her son to this disease she recalled being told by someone, " Well...he was sick though". Unfortunately, that didn't reduce the pain for my friend. Of course, this person's attempt to comfort added a great deal of emotional stress to her healing process. It's been fourteen years and my friend still mentions that phrase. Knowing what to say is sometimes very difficult for anyone including someone that has gone through it. Just remember that saying the "perfect thing" to someone grieving is next to impossible. Try to stay away from phrases like, "He/She is in a much better place now" or "At least you had __ years with him/her". While those phrases are indeed true, at the time of need (initial time of death) most people are still in the first stage of grief and may not receive your comment in a comforting way. (see our 7 Stages of Grief page) A great way to lend support is through prayer and listening. Commit to being there long after the ceremonial process has ended.
Author: Deb Hall